To the rude neighbor who moved our trashcan:
I understand that your priorities in life are apparently caught up in outside appearances but there are a few things you need to know. First off, I am sorry that I am your neighbor. I am not sorry because you are obviously annoyed but I am sorry because I can’t take the time to invest as I should. I worry constantly that the length of our grass or the way we do things will offend you and all our neighbors. I honestly believe that after the people in our home, our neighbors are next to see our real lives.
Second, I got your note on our door months ago. If you have paid attention I have tried my best to pull the can up from the curb as soon as the trash runs per your request. I clearly understand that you think my single trashcan makes our entire neighborhood value go down and I have made sure to contain my trash in a matter that is pleasing to you.
But since you don’t seem to take into account my effort, it is time for me to tell you something. The past few weeks I have had to ask what day it is. The month proceeding I have been in constant care of my child with cancer, begging my child to eat, changing numerous diapers and counting every drop of liquid in hopes I can keep my child hydrated.
We were admitted to the hospital and I left home with nothing. I knew I just needed to get my child to the oncology clinic and get help. My trash can was the last thing on my mind. Honestly, if I was thinking, I would have packed more diapers! Once we arrived and our stay was so up and down that I wondered if this was going to be the thing that my child didn’t come home from. See I know most of our kids don’t die from the cancer. They die from that infection or pneumonia…this thought doesn’t ever leave my mind. It haunts my nightmares. So I wasn’t thinking about the current placement of my trashcan.
We were so thankful we got to come home, you probably don’t know this, because we didn’t get to celebrate as big as we wanted to, but it was my child’s birthday. But coming home hasn’t been a breeze. Now my child gets around the clock antibiotics and 12 hours on a tube through her nose attached to a pump to feed her. So to say that I am weary and distracted as I keep my infant off my daughters tubes and lines is an understatement. And guess what…I still have no idea what day of the week it is! I only know when the next dose of her four times a day medication is due. All the brain power I can muster, after an long night of beeping pumps to tend to, is used to keep my sweet children alive.
Today when I left the house, I went to another doctor appointment…something I do almost every time my vehicle is not here. Every visit is a stressful to her and there are often tears that I don’t share on Facebook. No one wants to see that. I worry about even the good news and progress…that it is the calm before the storm and I will one day hear my child has relapsed. When this is going on…I am not thinking about my trashcan.
So when I came home tonight and you had moved my trashcan onto my child’s picnic table that you also moved without permission, guess what…my thoughts were not on the trashcan. They were on the fact that you now contaminated one of the few safe places and it is one more thing I have to sanitize so we won’t be stuck in this cycle again.
I have so much more to say to you. But maybe you will get a clue…or a heart. Or maybe I will get a no trespassing sign.
P.S. You character makes me wonder if you are the one who stole our planter and power wheels…just saying.
(Shared from a fellow cancer mom of mine, please read and share!)